Conflict

   This blog is a blank page, that remains blank a little more than it ought to. I seem to struggle to post regularly right now. Its not so much that I don't want to, or nothing happens to post about. Its more that I can't decide what to post. The conflict of what I should/ shouldn't or want to / don't want to say here simply echoes the conflict in my head. I guess I am just a little wary of posting ANYTHING that seems negative here. I've given in to that more often than usual of late. I suppose it's a measure of how I really am right now. I have wondered whether that is bad. Its hard to have one space that serves all purposes. personal, friends, business etc I was worried about that. But then perhaps I shouldn't be. I have read several posts on other blogs like Jasmine Star, Elsie and Tara. I guess it's ok to be human here, everyone knows I am, as long as there is an element of balance. and no specifics when it comes to that 'dirty laundry'.

and so, today? not great. I feel like crawling back under my duvet and crying. But theres too much to be done for that. I have no idea why it's today specifically. I know at the core of it I just crave some understanding. but I crave it from a specific source. I am also aware that there is no sign of that happening and so it is pointless banging my head against that wall, as much as I may want to.  And, that is all. Tomorrow will be a new day, one where I will forget it all for a while again I'm sure. Roll on tomorrow!