Checking out...emotionally.

I'm in a strange place right now. It's kind of hard to describe. If you knew someone was going to punch you, you'd duck. But I'm learning that sometimes when life throws one at you, you are expected to stand there and take it. I feel like I'm waiting for a crash, waiting for the pain to set in. I want to duck, but that isn't what is expected of me, so instead its like I can feel myself emotionally checking out. I'm not really there. I walk around doing the things I do but it's not me. I'm somewhere else, I don't know where. Thats not to say that there aren't some good and encouraging things happening in my life. Some fantastic blessings I should be grateful for, and I am, really. But beneath it all, all I can feel is the pain, gloating, because it's turn is coming. Fast. I'm in the tunnel, I see the lights, but I know they aren't the end. They're the train!


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